To Friend or Not to Friend: Facebook Etiquette Explained for Newly Formed Relationships

Facebook is an integral part of many of our lives, and that can make it a minefield when it comes to deciding whether to friend or not friend the person you are in a newly formed relationship with on the network.

One the one hand they make it so easy to check and connect that relationship status update; on the other, being connected on Facebook has led to many tales of woe in a relationship.

Here is a guideline to the Facebook etiquette explained for newly formed relationships.

What can go wrong?

What could possibly go wrong with being friends with the person you are seeing on Facebook?

A lot.

For many people, Facebook is now blending the personal and professional.

Even if you have your settings on private, nothing you post online is ever really private at all.

In a newly formed relationship there is also the issue that not only are you still getting to know each other, but you are also getting to know who is in your life as well.

Facebook allows for a lot of assumptions to be made about your other relationships that can cause problems.

The other issue is trying to keep your private things private.

Sometimes people don’t behave well on Facebook and a message or shared post between the two of you could invite comments that are less than kind, or downright troublesome.

It can be like sitting in the dunking both and paying people to throw balls at the bull’s-eye, which is never a good idea when your relationship is newly formed.

What can go right?

There is a lot that can go right when you are on Facebook together as friends.

  • It can provide a way to keep each other up to date quickly so that your face to face time is spend less reciting your day and more focus on getting to know each other.
  • It can let you share things such as videos and music that also let you know each other better.
  • It can be a way for someone to get to know other people in your life (or at least who they are and what they look like) when those people don’t live nearby.

The Facebook etiquette for newly formed relationships is based on the fact that it can be a way to get to know each other better as long as you remember the 3 golden rules:

  1. Ask, rather than assume.
  2. Don’t comment or like the other’s post unless it really has meaning to you.
  3. Make sure your posts to the other person are OK for the rest of your friends to see.

What it means to be on social media together?

To be on social media together is kind of like what it used to be to go together for the first time to a friend’s party.

It is the introduction of the “us” and “we” to your social and professional network.

That said, Facebook remains a very individual thing.

Your profile is about you.

Learning to be identified as a couple together without losing your individual identity is one of the things that Facebook can help strengthen in a newly formed relationship.

Managing the inevitable Facebook stalking you both will do

The ground rules –

  • Stalk away, if you are prepared for the consequences
  • Respond to public posts, but don’t grill him about his friends
  • Don’t assume every one he talks with online he knows or is interested in

The basic etiquette about friending or choosing not to friend on Facebook in a newly formed relationship is that it should be done with care.

Don’t do it until you are ready for everything that could go wrong or right in the relationship in a public forum.