If you are newly divorced you are faced with getting back into the dating game, and that can be a difficult thing.
The best tip when it comes to using online dating sites is to follow some basic common sense –
- Don’t reveal too much information.
- Don’t give money.
- Don’t give out your phone number if you don’t feel comfortable.
- Don’t reply if you don’t want to
There are numerous guides on the Internet that can fill you in on the basic dos and don’ts of online dating, but if you are newly divorced you will need some tips for when it comes to using online dating sites because your profile will be a little different.
You don’t want to hide the divorce, but you also don’t want to make it your identifying information.
Tip #1 – Mention the divorce in the profile, not the headline
OK – so maybe the divorce was rough but don’t use a headline that says “Free at last!” or that in any way mentions your divorce.
Even the use of the description, “newly single,” is something you should avoid.
Stick with that you are single, and it is up to you if you want to mention that you recently divorced in the profile.
It can be a good idea to mention it, but maybe not the time frame of it.
Some people aren’t familiar with how long it takes to get a legal divorce and will avoid you thinking you are looking for a rebound.
Tip #2 – Don’t use pictures from your marriage years
Get recent pictures of you that don’t include anything from your marriage years.
Look up what makes a great profile picture and follow their lead.
Profile pictures are successful that –
- Allow the viewer to see your full body
- Don’t have pets, friends or family in the image.
- Are recent.
Tip #3 – Don’t talk about your Ex until the 6th message/date
You can mention that you are divorced early on, but no discussions about your Ex until you have had at least 6 dates, or 6 meaningful conversations.
Even then, speak only of your Ex respectfully – no matter what they are like.
How you handle how you speak of your Ex is going to show your character.
You can save any stories about your marriage that reveal more for when you have a relationship established with a new person.
Tip #4 – Be careful you aren’t looking at profiles that look like your Ex
Check yourself that you aren’t looking at profiles of people who look like your Ex.
This happens more frequently than you think, whether you like your Ex or not.
There is difference between having a type that attracts you, and looking at people who remind you of your Ex.
The rule of thumb is to just ask yourself what it is about their picture that attracts you – and to listen to what your answer is.
Tip #5 – Expect people to understand the rollercoaster your on
This tip for the newly divorced that are just starting to use online dating sites may surprise you.
While no one really likes the status of being divorced – no matter how much you wanted the marriage to end – it isn’t anything to hide or be embarrassed about.
More people than you expect will understand what you have been through.
The way you handle talking about your Ex and the divorce will be a litmus test for you about the person, and for the person about you.
Give it the due it deserves, but then keep the focus on your new life.