Self-criticism can be an asset, but when it comes to writing an online dating profile – too much can ruin your chances.
It is one thing to try to be honest and humble; it is another thing to present yourself as not being worth anyone’s time.
You would be surprised at just how many people write profiles that are an argument for why they shouldn’t be in a relationship.
Self-criticism impacts the way you write your profile, but you can learn to avoid it easily.
Ways self-criticism about your looks can affect your dating profile
The pictures you choose for your profile are the first place that your self-criticism is going to show up.
One of the best ways to avoid this is to have someone else who knows you select a picture, and then explain to you why they think it is a good representation.
We tend to pick images of ourselves that can reinforce positive or negative beliefs we have about ourselves.
You should pay attention your reaction to the picture your friend selects, it will tell much about your real level of self-criticism.
How self-criticism can change what you write
Self-criticism can cause you to not say or list the things about your life and self that are very positive and attractive.
There is a huge difference between being self-deprecating and humble, and being self-critical.
There is a measure of criticism we have to be capable of in our lives in order to always be improving and growing; but it is easy to carry it too far.
Ways to avoid letting self-criticism impact how you write your profile
There are several ways that you can avoid letting self-criticism impact the way that you write your profile.
This takes a little bit of effort on your part, but the results are well worth it.
Here are the basic steps to take:
- Write your profile.
- Go back and highlight every description of yourself that is included.
- Write down three things that prove every description is real.
- Look at your proof and see which are based in self-critical emotions and which are based in reality.
- Re-write the profile until everything you have said is based in reality.
Reality isn’t what we perceive. It is what others perceive about us.
We may truly think that we are something or act in one way, but if everyone else around you is giving you a different message about how you are – then they are reflecting your reality.
Proof has to be able to exist outside of your thoughts and feelings.
Watch out for self-criticism in reverse
The other way that self-criticism can impact how you write your profile is by showing up in the reverse.
Some profiles are so aggressive in their presentation of why they are an ideal person to date that it becomes very apparent they are very self-critical and are overcompensating for it.
You don’t want to rave about all your strong points and how you don’t need anyone, or know how to be in a “real” relationship.
All of this comes across as a huge red flag that the person is insecure.
The same goes with pictures.
The hyper-sexual or overly posed picture shows that you are trying to distract the person from seeing something else about you that you don’t feel is good enough.
Relax, and realize that there is someone for everyone
A lot of the self-criticism that impacts profiles stems from trying to be appealing to everyone on the dating site.
You can’t be attractive to everyone.
Being honest, humble, but also recognizing your strengths is the sure way to find the right person for you.