The Top 7 Things Women Hate to be Told in Online Dating Messages

It’s easy to ruin your chances with a woman before you even get started by saying the kind of things that women hate to be told in online dating messages.

Here are the top 7 things they hate, so don’t say them.

1 – Women hate to be told they are sexy/beautiful in the first message.

If they have a profile picture posted then they know you are also responding to how they look.

They will also be getting a stream of messages that lead off with the physical.

Make yourself really stand out from the crowd by leading with something that shows you read their profile.

  • Wait until the 3rd or 4th message before you mention something about how they look.
  • Make sure that there is no “but” statement possible after your comment so it isn’t a back-handed compliment

2 – Don’t tell them they look like a kind or compassionate woman.

Sending this in the first few messages is a huge red flag.

It sends out the signal that you are looking for someone to be your mother.

Kindness and compassion isn’t something that show, it’s something someone does.

3 – Don’t talk about how many women message you

You wouldn’t believe how many men lead off with some comment about how many messages they get but how you are the only woman that appeals to them.

The woman reading this will immediately call “bulls–t” and trash your message.

Be real, and be respectful; don’t play games that seem to pit women against women – it will make you come off as a narcissistic troll.

4 – Women hate to be told that they “sound smart.”

Telling a woman that they “sound smart” is a backhanded compliment.

It implies that you didn’t expect them to be smart, and that you don’t really believe it.

  • Don’t tell them, if you think they are smart write messages that respond to that.
  • Use good grammar and spelling.
  • Don’t make any comments about school or jobs related to how “smart they sound.”

5 – Don’t tell them you aren’t any good at messages

If you are writing then you are doing better than all the other guys who are liking from afar.

No one is ever really good at the first few emails, but by drawing attention to it you are also drawing attention to yourself.

You want to keep more of it on her.

6 – Don’t go on and on about your toys

You may have the bike, the car, the boat and the house; but let those things be something she discovers about you.

She doesn’t want to hear about them in messages on an online dating site because it sounds like they are your crutches.

When someone needs their things to be out in front of them as the first thing a woman gets to know it suggests there isn’t much else there.

7 – They don’t want to hear how your life is so wonderful but you are just missing that special someone.

Saying that is a big red flag.

One of the things that women hate to told in an online dating message is how much you are looking to for someone to complete your life.

Not only is that a huge sign of insecurity and codependency on your part; but it also puts you into the “could become a stalker” category.

Also, by saying your life is perfect – except for having someone to share it with really implies that your life isn’t that wonderful after all and you could be angry or depressed about it.