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It can be tricky to know how to ask for a phone number and actually get it.
No matter who is doing the asking, the fear is the same – being turned down. Then again, that is the worst that can happen and it isn’t really a reflection on you. If you really want to make sure you get the number, there are some simple steps and tips you can follow to increase your chances.
1. Make sure you are ready to talk to her
Think about it. Are you clean? Sober? In your right state of mind? Unless you are absolutely sure you will never see her again, wait until you can make a good impression before you go over to strike up a conversation.
2. Strike up a conversation
Striking up a conversation with a woman is not as difficult as you think. If you walk up and are polite, most women respond. Try to avoid the clichéd opening lines and stick with an honest approach. A “hey, how are you, my name is Tom and I just couldn’t leave without talking to you for a bit,” goes much further than “As soon as I saw you I knew we would get along.” There are a few rules to striking up a conversation.
- Always make sure that she isn’t in the middle of something – don’t interrupt.
- Always introduce yourself by name, not nickname.
- Always offer to shake hands.
All of this establishes you as a real and respectful adult. The shaking hands bit is very important because it breaks the physical barrier gently, but fast.
3. Get to know her a bit first
She may be your ideal woman in looks, but that doesn’t mean you will like her. Talk a bit about anything and keep it light.
- Talk about the weather.
- Talk about being nervous coming over.
- Talk about why you came over (but skip the looks appeal – she already knows that).
- Talk about life in general and anything you can see that you may have in common.
4. Ask for (and get) her number
Now it is time to ask for her number. Unless you are a superhero, have a way to write it down – or better yet, already have the New Contact screen open in your cellphone. As soon as she gives you her number, text her right then and there so she has yours. Don’t just walk away, continue the conversation for a bit and establish when you will call her with a time and date.
What if this is all happening online?
The rules are basically the same online and off. There is one slight difference with the online world, the woman will prefer if you to offer your phone number first. Don’t ask directly for hers, let her offer it. She might choose to call you instead. There are many reasons for this –
- A man who offers his own number isn’t worried about a woman calling where he lives or works (i.e. he is not married or living with someone).
- It shows a willingness to reveal oneself in real life, which goes far in establishing you aren’t an Internet troll.
- It puts the control over first contact in the hands of the woman which increases her safety with online encounters.
Generally, you can ask – if she says you will call, for the courtesy of either a message first before the call so you know to pick up if you don’t answer blocked numbers. Follow all of this and you can ask for a number and actually get it the first time.
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