“Friends with Benefits,” sounds like the ideal solution for the modern age.
You get all the perks of physical intimacy and friendship without the commitment and bother of a relationship. There are rules to it though, and learning them is a must if you want your FWB arrangement to stay happy and healthy. Here are the 7 must-know rules for men who want to get a “Friend with Benefits.”
Friendships involve emotions
Friends with benefits are not friends who aren’t emotionally involved. Just like in a romantic relationship, emotions will be there and they will rise and fall throughout the arrangement.
Sex can make people feel more about each other
Sex, and everything about, brings out a whole array of hormones including the one that increases feelings of being emotionally bonded to someone. Don’t mistake this for love.
You are also the “benefit”
While you hormones may be deepening your illusion of connection, don’t lose sight of the fact that you are just a “benefit” too. While we usually think of women as the ones that get overly attached, men are quick to assume they are what is needed in someone’s life. You may just be a perk for someone who enjoys your company but has no interest in a relationship with your too.
FWB doesn’t mean 24/7
One of the major rules of a friend with benefits relationship is that it doesn’t mean the other person is available 24/7 for sex. They aren’t there at your beck and call; it has to be a mutual arrangement that very much respects Rule #5.
Don’t lose sight of the friendship
Friends are supposed to be friends, make sure you don’t lose sight of that and only come knocking when you want sex. That can really damage a person and you in the end. Make sure you take care to keep your friendship going.
FWB arrangements are meant to be temporary
Friends with benefits aren’t meant to be lifelong arrangements. If you are looking for a long term intimate affair, that is a whole different ball game. One of the reasons that so many of these arrangements go south is they go on too long. It can be good for a year or two, but it will get old and you need to move on. If you both want to continue it, it is time to give it a new name and some new rules. An intimate affair is a much more connected emotional affair, but it still lacks the formality of a relationship.
FWB stop when someone gets in a relationship
As soon as one of you gets into a relationship – even just a casual dating one; the benefits have to stop. At least until you have a chance to talk about everything with everyone. If you are going to keep the FWBs going, you need to make sure the other person in your relationship is really OK with it.
How do you know who to ask for FWB?
None of these 7 must-know rules for men who want to get a “Friends with Benefits” are going to help if you pick the wrong person to ask, or to get involved with. Here are a few extra tips for getting things going on the right foot.
- Make sure that they are stable and really want this arrangement.
- Make sure they know the rules too.
- Make sure you both agree whether the arrangement will be public or private (this will save you tons of trouble in the future).