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There are all sorts of players and fakes online.
Taking a look at the online dating site profile enables you to spot a player easily. It is pretty easy to weed out the fakes once you know what to look for in a profile. Remember, a player online may not be the same type of player offline – many don’t ever want to meet but get off on the emotional control and connection of the digital contact and will string you along. Some of them will want to meet, but will make sure you don’t find out for as long as possible they are involved in another relationships.
1. He is probably a player if he is all about how hot things can get with him.
OK, so maybe you are both looking for a friend’s with benefits relationship, but any man that has a whole profile that goes on and on about how great he is in bed is
- Not interested in meeting
- Interested in meeting with nothing else.
Even if that is your thing, you don’t want to do it with someone who is so obvious because it means he isn’t going to be discrete, and he sure as heck isn’t going to be in the habit of practicing safe sex.
3. He is probably a player if his whole profile is about how he is looking for his soul mate to complete him.
Funny as it seems, this is player talk. Why is it player talk? Because thanks to Oprah, “soul mate” is considered to be “chick speak.” A player trots it out to try and make himself appealing to you. A real man that is really looking for a long term relationship talks about it differently. The rule of thumb is that if Julia Roberts has either said it in a movie, or been in a movie with it in the title and it’s on his profile – he’s a player.
4. He is probably a player if he won’t give out his phone number, or gives you very restricted times for messaging.
This one is really more about after you have been talking for a bit, but there are hints about it coming in his profile. It usually comes with an over emphasis on how private he is, discrete or busy. If you have been chatting online for a while and feel like it’s time to at least voice verify, if not dare a person to person meeting – the man who won’t give out his phone number (often by saying ‘give me yours and I will call you’) is probably in a relationship where having a woman call would blow his cover. This is almost as big a tip off as the man who never gives you more than a screen name and won’t send a picture.
Can you player-proof your profile?
While it is important to be able to weed out the fakes, it’s also important to make sure your profile isn’t going to attract them like flies. Make sure that you don’t do this in a profile –
- Post pictures of you doing duckface with liquor in the picture, this will tell a player you’re a party girl and no one to take seriously.
- Don’t talk about how busy you are, this tells a player it will be easy to play “I’m so busy I can’t meet” when he is really in another relationship.
- Don’t talk about wanting to get to know someone online first before meeting, a player will take that as an open invitation to string you along with no intention of meeting face to face.