So you have been “talking” for a while online and have decided it’s time to talk on the phone.
This is an important step. While there is a general feeling of intimacy when you are messaging online, a phone call starts to take it one step further into the real world. This is where you really start to get to know someone. Intonation can reveal much about meaning and emotion that is missing in online communication. When you are ready to talk, these 7 tips will help you get through your first phone call with her easily.
1. Set a time
This may seem like a no-brainer but setting a definite time is something most men forget to do. Don’t say “let’s talk tonight,” be specific. Set a definite time and then be sure that if you are going to be more than 5 minutes late with the call that you message her.
- Don’t call more than 5 minutes early.
- Message if you will be more than 5 minutes late.
- If something comes up, immediately reschedule the call.
2. Make sure you are in the right place
Talking on your cell phone while in your car seems like a good idea, just don’t do it. You really want to treat your first phone call with her like it is the first date. Make sure you are comfortable, relaxed, but in a place and mood where you can be attentive and focused on her and the conversation.
3. Limit the call to 45 minutes
As tempting as it may be to go on and on if you really click on the phone, limit the call to 45 minutes. Both of you will need time to sit with your conversation. If you really enjoyed talking, don’t try to talk the night away but keep it short so you can talk again and know you will have plenty to say.
4. Know when to get off
This is one of the hardest of the 7 tips to help you get through your first phone call with her easily to learn – and that is knowing when to get off the phone. There is a difference between a comfortable silence, and a lack of things to say. This isn’t a bad thing; conversations get easier as you get to know each other. If she sounds distracted (or if you get distracted), end the phone call graciously and say that you have to go but have enjoyed talking to her.
5. Follow up with an email
Before the evening is over, make sure you send an email acknowledging the call. Be brief, but just say you enjoyed it and will talk again soon. Even if you said goodnight on the phone, follow up with the email.
6. Limit your distractions
This goes along with picking the right place to be when you are on the phone, but you should also limit your distractions as well. While it may seem like a good idea to use a hands-free or speakerphone so you can do things while talking, this is going to take your attention of the phone call and she will be able to tell. Also, turn off the TV and computer – keep your focus on her.
7. Learn to let silence be okay
This last tip will help you get through your first phone call with her easily, and that is to learn that silence is OK on the phone. Don’t rush to fill the silence, but also don’t let it go on for too long. Silence can let both of you think and take in what is said. It is a normal part of the conversation.